NEWS RECAP

by Paint Thompson

1. These people died this week:
A. Gerald Ford
B. James Brown
C. Saddam Hussein
D. Various others whose names did not make it to headlines or sound bites

2. These things happened this week:
A. A Canadian ice cap fell off
B. Saddam Hussein was executed
C. I found the external volume control on my computer
D. It's 50 degrees in Chicago on December 30
E. Millions of environmentalists are freaking out because not only do they realize the mild temps are a result of global warming busting ass around the world with forest fire rapidity, but also, they are actually enjoying the mild temps. Oh, the guilt. The environmentalists say: Will somebody please think of the children?

3. Here are the things the pundits are discussing:
A. Crooked Chicago politicians
B. Why does Arnold Schwarzenegger make a brief cameo in that movie with The Rock that they just showed on channel 9 yesterday afternoon?
C. Bit of a deficit in the ole government budget