Lost Blueprint

LOST BLUEPRINT: Serious, slanted, fictional journalism

12.11.2006

DALEY RUNS AGAIN

by Lost Blueprint Investigative Team

Mayor Richard M. Daley is expected to announce this afternoon his candidacy for his one bazillionth term of office. His platform: Flowers In Every Median. Many speculate this platform is part of an overriding city beautification project. However, the Lost Blueprint Investigative Team has uncovered information that suggests otherwise. Evidently, the Flowers in Median Campaign is the foundation for an ultimate ban on left turns, the logic being that if you can't see around foliage, why would you make the turn? For those of you who doubt this ask yourselves this: When was the last time you were aware of a left turn contributing heavily to a local political campaign?