FUCKING FUCKERS FROM FUCKERVILLE

by Prissy McMouth

Yeah, so, I'm the one in charge of the Lost Blueprint World Domination Project. This is because I'm very responsible. It's also because I missed the last staff meeting. Anyway, this means I have to figure out ways to take over the world under the Lost Blueprint logo. Which we don't have yet. But once we do--oh boy, look out.

So, while scoping out the scene at Myspace, you know what I noticed? Technology, that's what. By which I mean, I like to do my stalking of hot guys on Myspace and now you know what they have? They have TRACKERS. Like, you can track where I am when I'm stalking you. You can track what page I hit before I got to you. You could probably track how many of your friends I'm stalking, too. This sucks. I mean, good stalking is wholly dependent on anonymity and this fucking technology doesn't allow for that and you know what I have to say to that? I say what the fuck. Oh, sorry, hipster techno freaks--I mean, WTF. Stupid technology.