BEER FOUNTAIN

by PhD McGee

LINCOLN SQUARE--The fountain in this quaint and alcoholic neighborhood recently started spouting beer. According to Alderman Whatsits, the change from water to beer was decided upon because, "German Fest was such a success, we wanted to offer the fun and exuberance to the neighborhood on a long-term basis."

We interviewed a few of the regulars who hang out on the Square, Regular Squares as we at Lost Blueprint like to call them, and here's what they had to say:

Joe: I think it's imported.
Bob: I think it's got too much head.
Mary: HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Hortence: Beer sucks.