An Interview with the CTA

by PhD McGee

Ever exit a CTA station during rush hour and wonder to yourself if you're a human or just one piece of a livestock puzzle? Well, I have. So I took my questions about CTA exiting to a nameless CTA representative and found out the following insightful insight. The following is transcribed from an interview that took place last night at the bar.

Lost Blueprint: I take the el. In the morning, it's crowded. It takes longer to get out of the station than it takes to cross the Atlantic Ocean on a raft. Why?

CTA Nameless Representative: Well, there are more people than space so everyone is required to walk slowly.

LB: Is this some sort of government-sponsored, sci-fi experiment to see how we'll react to overcrowding?

CNR: Yes, actually it is.

LB: I see. So, are we to believe that we are being watched while exiting CTA stations during rush hour?

CNR: Not yet. We have yet to install the proper technology to adequately spy, um, I mean, watch out for your safety . . . we're currently trying to figure out how to install those big face freaky fountains from Millenium Park in all the CTA stations. Those things are great spying apparatuses. Apparati?

LB: Try "apparati," it sounds cooler.

CNR: So, anyway, if you could alert your readers to the fact that if they moo like cows upon exiting a CTA station, especially during rush hour, they have a better chance of appearing on CTA TV. Also, we would appreciate the free plug.

LB: Will do. And thanks for the insightful insight, CTA person. Next round's on me.


Post Script: A Lost Blueprint investigation of the spying apparati behind the big face freaky fountains at Millenium Park is underway.